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Hanging Judge

from Quivering Things by Surprise Flapjacks

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

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lyrics

"Well, in these trying times, a man's stability of mind is bound to take a lurch," the public defender chimed as his repeat offender slime a perfect suit besmirched.

I reknotted my tie. I looked the dead man in the eye, tried not to sound rehearsed. I said, "I am the hanging judge and I know how to hold a grudge and this is not a church."

I sesamed Ali. The forty thieves, taxadermied, are mounted on my wall. And back in Russia, when I dueled a thousand gentlemen, not one ever outran a cannonball. Many a lying child was lost to kinfolk crying wild, though far and wide they searched. I am the hanging judge and I have not been known to budge or fidget on my perch.

I was presiding when the prosecution's evidence and case went up in smoke. I hung the jury and I hung the witness on the stand. The prosecutor choked in a great pool of blood that from his jugular did flood (I had run out of rope). I wore a private smirk, admiring my handiwork. My gavel, it was soaked.

They came for me at dawn. I had my favorite slippers on. They dragged me from my home. Some of them carried rocks and some had blunderbusses cocked. They broke most of my bones. As they paraded me, the townfolk clawed and flayed at me. They peeled me like a birch. But I said, "I am the hanging judge and I know how to hold a grudge and this is just my church."

credits

from Quivering Things, released July 3, 2014

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Surprise Flapjacks Durham, North Carolina

Surprise Flapjacks makes music about communists, existential crises, zombies, and lovesickness (and, of course, zombie lovesickness). The Carrboro and Durham-based five-piece creates melodic, energetic pop awash in sugary hooks and group harmonies, shot through with nervous surrealism, and tempered with submerged melancholy. ... more

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